Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
