What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
