And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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