id be glad to
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
