Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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