So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
