Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
