No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
