I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Everyone says I win the strip club
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
