First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
