I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
