Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
