Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
