I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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