Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
