so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
