theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
