Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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