shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
