so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
