Bisexual people are plain selfish.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
