i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
