I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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