The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
