Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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