alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
