Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
