This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Every concussion has its silver lining
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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