I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I fill condoms, not promises.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
