Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
