So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
