also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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