Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
