just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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