What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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