Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I am one with the molecules
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
