oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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