fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
