I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
