Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
