does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
