I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
