My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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