she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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