1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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