East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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