I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
