Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize