Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
