Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I CAN MOONWALK!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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