Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
